“Stay home” - a tough ask!

When I write on possible reactions/responses to the call to stay home during this time of the covid-19 virus, I am mindful that many people are suffering distress through loss of a loved one, financial stress, family violence and/or generalized fear and anxiety. Also, there are the many who are homeless, so the call to stay home is meaningless at best, or like a slap in the face at worst. Therefore, I offer the following response for those who are not fighting for survival in their outer lives or inner being, but rather for those who are ‘simply’ experiencing disruption in their lives.

In response to the covid-19 virus we are told in no uncertain terms: “Stay home!” Even though we may understand the rationale behind the rule, being told what to do is a tough ask for many of us because our cultural disposition is that we do not like being told what to do. Often our reaction to being ‘told’ gives rise to the defensive fight/flight/freeze reaction. When we react in such a way, we may either flout the rule and go out anyway, or stay home feeling like a trapped animal driven by fear of catching the covid-19 virus. What if we were to choose a different response to being told to stay home? What if we were to consciously choose to stay home as an act of lovingkindness; an act of lovingkindness towards ourselves and the wider community? Interestingly, it is in making the choice that an internal shift can take place; a shift towards responses-ability with grace.

In light of the above, making the choice to stay home as an act of lovingkindness enables a shift to take place within our inner being; a shift away from the fight/flight/freeze reaction to a response which enables us to live in these stange global circumstances with curiosity and creativity. Make no mistake though, making the choice to stay home from an attitude of lovingkindness does not alleviate the very human feelings we will experience; feelings like frustration, disappointment, confusion, sorrow, anger, fear, anxiety. Even so, those feelings will be metaphorically ‘held’ in a vast ‘container’ of lovingkindness. In turn those feelings may be gently recognized and engaged with in terms of our personal growing edge within this complex time in our collective history.

For one method of engaging with our personal growing edge see Contemplative self enquiry